November

2024 is almost over...

I’m not fond of winters. Or summers. Or monsoon. What I like is the in-between. October. November. A bit of February. March. A bit of April.

As it grows colder and I get accustomed to wanting to drink something hot everyday after I reach home or leave home or in my evening work breaks or just about anytime of the day, it strikes me that 2024 is about to end.

The feeling of not wanting to get out of bed even after you’ve hit “stop” on your alarm is here, the difficulty of getting your feet warm after they’ve been subjected to the cold is here and 2024 is about to end.

That is more anxiety inducing than any other thought I have at the moment. Not the fact that I need to find a job ASAP or the fact that I’m still as heartbroken as I ever was and I don’t want to be. Maybe I’ll do a post about being heartbroken, we’ll see.

November started kinda shaky but it seemed to be going fine for a bit there and then work trouble started and all I’ve been able to think about since then is I NEED A NEW JOB.

ugh. If there’s one thing I hate in the world with all my might, it is job hunting. It is soul crushing, it’s the loneliest feeling in the world. Want to feel bad about yourself? Start looking for a job!! :D Come to think of it, might make a post about this as well because I feel like no one talks about this.

Anyway, here’s what I read and watched in November. Let me know if we have anything in common <3

Books:

I realised I haven’t been mentioning the rating of the books or the format which is my usual for wrap-ups so gonna rectify that in this one. I hope I can do more posts sometime soon than just wrap-ups *crosses fingers*

• The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow | 📚 | 3 ⭐: This book took me almost a month to finish. Not because it was that long but because it was that boring. For a book with such a beautiful cover and a cool premise, this surely read like a textbook. All the cool stuff was secondhand through side characters until at least the 75% mark of the book and that, above all, killed my enjoyment.

• The Ruin of Kings by Jenn Lyons | 🎧 | 4.5 ⭐: Wow, this felt longer than it was. Either because of how little I was listening or because there was just so much going on here. This made me miss high fantasy, a world that’s so well done and so richly detailed that it’s a treat for the senses. I enjoyed it a lot and can’t wait to get to the further installments!

• The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #1) | 💻 | 4.5 ⭐: Say hello to a book I never thought I would be interested enough to read. A friend of mine, Pahi, in all intents and purposes, bullied me into reading this. It took time (and countless Jude and Cardan tidbits thrown at me) but I finally felt like trying it out and I wasn’t disappointed! It isn’t a bully romance at all! Okay, yes, in the loose sense of the term, it sort of starts off that way but it’s a lot more nuanced than that and Jude gives better than she gets!

• The Lost Sisters by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #1.5) | 💻 | 3 ⭐: I need to check if I’ve hated a character more than I hated Taryn but I’m pretty sure, like at least 90% that I haven’t. She is horrible and this short story did absolutely nothing to make me warm up to her.

• Ruby Lost and Found by Christina Li | 🎧 | 5 ⭐: A little break from the Fae for this wonderful middle-grade book I didn’t expect to love but wholeheartedly did! It was amazing, at times heavy but still so good. Grief is a huge part of this book so please take care!

• The Wicked King by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #2) | 💻 | 4.5 ⭐: and we’re back to the Fae! Also loved this one, the ending had me screaming ngl.

• The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #3) | 💻 | 4.25 ⭐: Ended up not enjoying this one as much as I did the previous two but I still enjoyed it. It was fun and had a lot of high stakes throughout.

• Letters To Jude From Cardan by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #3.1) | 💻 | 4 ⭐: This is…what it says. Not going to explain more because it’ll be spoiler-y.

• Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas (The Hate U Give #0) | 🎧 | 4 ⭐: I read THUG in March, 2022 which feels like eons ago now so I guess that’s why I ended up feeling like this book rewrote my memory of THUG xD. This was a good background story into Starr’s father, Maverick and step-brother Seven. I enjoyed it but not as much as I remember liking THUG.

• Geekerella by Ashley Poston (Once Upon a Con #1) | 🎧 | 4 ⭐: This was a Cinderella retelling and I enjoyed all aspects except for the romance. It had a bit of a twist regarding one of the twin step-sisters which I really liked.

• How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories by Holly Black (The Folk of the Air #3.5) | 💻 | 5 ⭐: I enjoyed this far more than I was expecting to. It was such a good blend of fae culture and Cardan being Cardan, loved it!!

• Revolutionary by Alex Myers | 🎧 | 3.5 ⭐: This was…long. It’s about a woman who ends up enlisting for war after finding herself in a bad situation. It is a detailed account of her time as a soldier and I believe the inspiration is an aunt of the author or something. It was okay but I was just bored out of my mind a lot of the time so…

TV Shows/Movies:

• Love Next Door E04-E16: This show honestly put me through all the emotions there possibly are out there. Put me through a ringer? A rollercoaster? No, something more severe than that. Probably what it feels like being a dish in a dishwasher maybe. I wouldn’t know (I have never used a dishwasher in my life, we do it manually here folks). Pahi recommended this and it was just brilliant. I loved everything about this show.

• F.R.I.E.N.D.S S01E02-S03E03: yeah, started another rewatch only because of mental bandwidth reasons.

• The Half Of It: My go-to comfort movie for real. I can just put this on and not be bored for a single second. It manages to bring up all the emotions and keeps me in my feels every single time. This has a nerdy girl, a himbo guy, a pretty beauty-with-brains kinda girl and the trio is hilarious and heartfelt and just so loveable. It is kind of like a love triangle (and not the hetero woman-backed-into-a-corner kind) and I just love everything about it.

• Baby Reindeer: This made me question why was I even watching it so many times like SO many times. The only reason I didn’t stop partway through was the super short episodes. But it turned out to be alright by the end, had a great message and everything.

• The Gentlemen: Also one of the shows that made me question why was I even watching it so many times like SO many times. This didn’t have short episodes but I still stuck to it because it was sort of chaotic and entertaining. I enjoyed it overall but probably won’t be watching S2 if there would be one.

• Dear Zindagi: I know this movie has some questionable therapist representation but I still wanted to see if it matched my expectations. Many tears were shed while watching this, entirely unexpected and yet. Some things just hit a nerve somewhere ig or maybe I’ve just been in a crying sort of mood.

• A Man on the Inside: I just watched it because of Ted Danson tbh and it paid off. It was so good and entertaining. (I keep having a deja vu sort of thing as I write these, DID I DREAM ABOUT WRITING MY SUBSTACK POSTS????????) It especially focused on old age and had some very nuanced themes around that.

• The Shawshank Redemption: Ngl I was a bit bored sometimes while watching this and just disgusted but the second half was definitely worth it.

• Cable Girls S01E01-05: Started watching this show and enjoying it quite a lot. I especially love the casual queer rep, totally wasn’t expecting that!!

Well, that was that for media updates.

Life updates:

• in case you somehow missed it, things are not good work-wise at the moment and I need to find a new job ASAP :(

• took 3 therapy sessions and have decided not to take more because I just can’t afford them right now, provided the work situation. It makes me feel even worse because I feel like I really need therapy rn but it’s okay, I’ll be fine.

• in the last session I had I told her how I felt like I was running on only two emotions for the past few months: anger and sadness. Nothing has felt truer or just so damn depressing.

• the hormonal acne I had only seemed to get worse in November but they do seem a little bit better rn *fingers crossed*

• also spent some time with my loved ones which helped me feel just a bit sane so I’m very grateful for that.

• oh, also went to this pickleball/games thing organized by work even though I was feeling so shitty that I didn’t wanna go. Still went because apparently I’ll be damned before I let people know I’m hurt and actually ended up having a fine enough time. Still felt shitty but eh, what can you do?

• Also somehow thought things might turn out to be not so bad after spending an evening with someone and then what do you know? Life said not on my watch and things went from “not okay” to “what the f*cking hell”.

I know my posts are just strong doses of misery at this point but I’m not sorry. The only thing I’m sorry for is actually being a decent human being. If only I were not I would’ve had some delicious revenge on so many people by now. Guess I’ll just keep wallowing in my misery as a substitute haha.

Take care of yourselves, y’all and drink enough water. Also stay safe out there, the world is a bad dark place for a lot of us. <3